


French Two Ways

by BridgetMcKennitt



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: Anniversary, Cooking, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 01:51:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5478896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BridgetMcKennitt/pseuds/BridgetMcKennitt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen was the master of everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	French Two Ways

**Author's Note:**

  * For [donutsweeper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/donutsweeper/gifts).



This was it. Jensen was going to use his razor sharp focus and wits to complete his mission. He was going to nail this thing like a missile locked on its target. He lifted his hands, ready to strike. He was the man.

"You've been staring at the counter for ten minutes, Jensen. When are you going to get off the pot and do something?" Aisha said as she entered the kitchen. "What are you even doing? You can't cook."

Jensen glanced at her before staring back at the array of food ingredients on the kitchen counter. "I can cook. I _have_ to cook."

She raised her eyebrow as she raised herself to sit on the counter next to him. "You're amazing on a computer, but you almost burned down the kitchen of the last safe house we were in just trying to boil water. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and you know what your weakness is. It's right here in this room."

Jensen scoffed as he picked up a knife and a sad looking tomato. Maybe he should have had the grocery employee pick it instead. "I'm brilliant at whatever I do, so I am going to master cooking. You'll see. Besides, it's not like you can cook either."

Aisha smirked at him before jumping off the counter and patting his arm. "I get by. I don't understand your latest obsession, but maybe you should get some help before you burn down this safe house. Buy a cookbook or watch a cooking show. Something." She started to walk away.

"Well, why don't you help me?" Aisha stopped for a moment to glance back at him. "Since you manage to get by."

"Nah. I'm going to do something interesting, like clean my guns. Have fun not screwing up."

Jensen cursed under his breath as he was left alone with a bunch of ingredients pointedly staring at him. He bared his teeth back at them. "Stop judging me," he said to no one. "I can do this. I'm awesome."

An hour later, Jensen realized that, no, he could not do this. Not by himself. There were colors splattered all over the walls and a pan that was so blackened that it should probably be in the trash instead of ever used again. Jensen sighed as he wiped some food gunk off his cheek. Aisha was right. He was going to completely botch his mission if he went at it alone. And that wasn't acceptable. Sometimes missions needed more than one man, he knew that, so this particular mission was not a one-man operation. He needed to recruit someone else to help him.

Then he thought about it. He couldn't ask anyone on his team, Aisha aside, for a variety of reasons that ranged from no, no and NO. So he needed to call on an outside player. A master. He needed all the help he could get in a short amount of time. He was on a deadline for his mission, after all.

Jensen got on his computer and with quick strokes from his fingers, he found a plethora of reality TV cooking shows from the masters themselves, as well as most of their recipes. After watching one episode chosen at random and seeing a chef create a mouthwatering dish out of the most random of ingredients, he knew he made the right decision.

"Okay, first things first. I gotta clean the kitchen and take inventory of what I have in stock. And then it's time." Jensen pumped his fist into the air at the thought of kicking ass and taking names. Even his teammates were going to be surprised at the majestic beauty he was going to create.

Jensen frowned. The kitchen was cleaned, or at clean as it was ever going to be, and now he had a list of the ingredients he had at hand. After his first screw up, he didn't have much to work with. Maybe he needed to create a database so he could pinpoint what he could make from the recipes he found with the ingredients he had. It wouldn't take long, not for a computer whiz like him, and Jensen sat down to get to work.

It was a good thing that the kitchen was rarely used and everyone else was doing something else outside of the safe house. It was the reason why he chose today to complete his mission, among other very important reasons. He finished the database and inputted everything he had. Then he pressed Search. The database ran and when it brought up its results, Jensen winced. There really wasn't a lot he could make, and he pulled in all of the recipes from chefs that had ever been on any cooking show, and then some.

Jensen looked at what he could make and found something that could probably work. It looked simple enough, though that didn't say much when he was an awful cook, and the picture looked tasty. If he could pull this off, it was going to be the best thing ever.

"I can totally do this. I can do anything. I'm badass Jake Jensen." Jensen sat the computer on the counter and picked up an egg.

He could do this. He could hack highly secured governments with ease. If he could do that, he could cook French toast with a spin. At least that's what the recipe called it. Jensen opened up a bottle of rum, he was going to have to purchase Clay another one later, and poured it into a heated skillet. He needed to make the orange-rum bananas first. After almost burning the bananas, he got a timer. The recipe called for four minutes of cooking the bananas, so he was going to follow it to the letter. He trusted the recipe. He was the recipe.

Jensen took his time and finally, _finally_ , he had a plate of French toast with orange-rum bananas. There was an extra piece of French toast that he tasted and it was good. No, it was better than good. It was unpredictable and life changing.

Jensen picked up the plate, along with two forks, and went to go find Cougar. He wasn't in the house, but Jensen wasn't exactly sure where he was. It was a good thing he liked playing hide and go seek.

Jensen ruled out Cougar's usual spots before he found him on top of a roof of a nearby abandoned building. Cougar had his sniper gun in his hands and he tilted his hat towards him as Jensen came out of the stairway that led to the roof.

"Hey, so, hi. I come in peace."

Cougar chuckled as he placed his gun down. Jensen grinned as he sat down next to Cougar, placing the plate of French toast in front of them.

"So I decided to be even more awesome than I normally am and made us some food to eat." Jensen offered one of the forks to Cougar who looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "What?"

"I don't want to be poisoned."

Jensen scoffed loudly. "I am not trying to poison you. The complete opposite in fact. I got the recipe online from a master chef and I even tasted it to make sure I didn't screw up. It is delicious French toast with orange-rum bananas that I made just for you."

Cougar eyed Jensen carefully as he dipped his fork to cut into the French toast. He skewed it and lifted it to his mouth for a bite. Jensen knew he did well when he heard the slightest of moans coming from Cougar.

"See! I am awesome."

"Yes, you are. Happy anniversary." Cougar pointed in the distance and Jensen looked that way. Jensen couldn't help but grin when he saw the 'I love you' that was created by bits and pieces. It could only be seen from where they were, not from ground level, which meant Cougar took the time to make the words just for him.

Jensen slung his arm around Cougar's shoulders and gave him a sloppy kiss on his cheek. "This has been the best year of my life," he said. No one understood him as well as Cougar. "I love you, too. Now let's eat my masterpiece before it gets completely cold. It took me forever to find you."

"You're getting rusty." Cougar offered Jensen a bite of French toast from his fork and Jensen opened his mouth to eat it. "We'll have to work on that."

Jensen swallowed the bite. "Sure. You know how I love playing hide and go seek." Then he grinned before kissing Cougar on the mouth this time. Cougar tasted like French toast and rum, and Jensen found himself really enjoying the combination of flavors even more so as he licked into Cougar's mouth. French toast totally deserved French kissing or something like that. Cougar wasn't complaining and neither was Jensen.

Awesome anniversary gifts on both ends and making out with Cougar on top of a roof? Mission accomplished.


End file.
